Joke of the Week

People often ask me: "What's the worst thing about being left-handed?" Well, during the 1600s, being burnt at the stake by overzealous Catholics was certainly a low point...

-Rod Goodman

Featured Joke of the Week is an original joke posted by members of SirComedy.com. The featured joke is based solely upon the joke submitted. It must be clean, but edgy is OK, and original. Anyone with an original joke is eligible to be featured. SirComedy.com will submit the jokes to nonbiased judges (innocent bystandards from the Anaheim YMCA). The jokes are chosen solely upon the way they are written (this means that it does not matter if you are new or a headliner). Submit your joke here!


 

Previous Jokes

"I'm a substitute teacher during the day because I believe that rock stars should give back. The great thing is that they aren't my kids. They show up at 8AM and if 3PM rolls around an no one is dead, I've done my job."

- Throwing Toasters

"Why do they always weigh you at a doctors appointment? That's like going to get your teeth cleaned, and they give you a routine pap-smear."

- Sandy Stec

My second wife, Whorlene, was not the most faithful of women. I probably shouldn't call her 'loose', but when she carved a notch in her bedpost, she used a rake!

- Phil Van Tee

People often tell me that losing weight is no walk in the park, when I hear that I think yeah...that is the problem.

- Chris Adams

People always ask me when I first knew I was gay. I think it was when my teacher got us in a circle and sang which one of us is not like the other ones....."IT'S NICK TARR. He's a homo."

- Nick Tarr

"I'm Filipino, which basically means I'm a Mexican, with car
Insurance."

- Mark Fernandez

When my daughter was born, we videotaped the birth.  Now when she makes me angry, I just hit rewind and put her back in.

- Grace White

Grace received and additional bonus week for displaying outstanding patience and understanding while we dealt with certain "industry" difficulties. SirComedy.com honors those who honors others. Here's to a classy lady.

I started off going to Christian School. I made it almost all the way through 3rd grade before getting my mouth washed with soap for saying the word, "Sh*t." Immediately the teacher says, "I hope you've learned your lesson!" I said, "Only if your lesson was to teach me that soap taste like SH*T!"

- Steve Monroe

My man left me; I knew he was going to. I started wearing that new cologne by Calvin Klein, TRUTH. Yea...men are allergic to it.

- Barbie Orr

I hate LA! It is the only city in the world where people move there so they can make enough money to get the hell out of there!

- Jeffrey Jena

I know nothing about relationships because I went to a Catholic school. We had sex ed classes at Catholic shool but they were taught by Nuns! Thats insane, its like taking your car to an amish mechanic.

- Jeffrey Jena

I'm 1/2 Irish and 1/2 native american which means I like to drink and hey...where's my land?

- Marc Kravitz

I am Ethiopian, which explains my weight problem. Apparently my metabolism was only meant to handle a cup of water and a handful of lentils per day.

- Yayne Abeba

"I had a girlfriend in college that was a bit of a deviant.  She liked to have sex with minors.  I've still got the hardhat with the light on it."

- Mike Clauss

"I had my identity stolen a few months ago and my credit actually improved. I'm dating now, new car...life is good."

- Steve Moris